So much for progress...

Edvard Munch, The Scream

Well, it is that dreaded time again.  Ten weeks of class have slipped by me (quite sneakily, I might add), and suddenly ten billion things are due and I'm running out of time.
You think if I can get enough "likes" on Facebook, they can go ahead and make the day 30 hours long, instead?

I'm a behind-the-scenes kind of girl.  I prefer living my life in quiet contemplation and free from the frustrations that arise from dealing with other humans.  I like things orderly, arranged, color-coded and right where I can find them.  Unfortunately, I'm walking chaos and the second I think I've got my shit on lock, my perfectly orderly little house of cards comes tumbling down.  Just like they did last week.

For those of you who don't know me or what I do:  I am an art history student full time with a focus in modern and contemporary art.  I have also been working as a (paid!) assistant for a local art consulting and appraising firm for almost three years.

I recently received a great honor and was selected to be one of two students from my enormous university to present original research at a symposium at the Portland Art Museum in April.  Sounds all cool and intellectual, right?  Unfortunately, the rehearsal for my presentation falls on the exact same day I have two ten-page papers and all my studio work due.  ZOINKS!  Set brain to PANIC MODE, stat!

As my reserve crumbles, I am reduced to states of intermittent crying, screaming and curling up in the fetal position.  My list of "what ifs" and "to dos"grows by the minute.  What if I hadn't procrastinated all my other work?  What if I hadn't taken such hard classes?  What if I hadn't submitted my paper for this stupid symposium in the first place?  To do: catch a Red Eye flight to someplace exotic and never look back!

In the end, the panic will be a fleeting feeling.  Time will continue to pass whether I'm ready for it or not.  All we can really do in these situations is take a deep breath, dive in and hope the pool isn't too shallow.  At least, that is what I keep telling myself.

To all of you students out there:  Hang in there, baby!  It'll all be over soon.

*and exhale...*